LikeTheFlowingRiver

Dear people,

Hey, how i miss talking to you like i talk to myself… heheh..how i miss talking without being poetic in here :p …haha. well, how are your rayas? I bet most of you are having your best. Like me particularly. I got to see my family, at last, after months, which i suffered like of countless years. Thinking about them laughing at my jokes kindles right at my heart how much i miss them. huhu..(they always make me feel like a professional respected comedian and i always love that kind of appreciation..hehe). BTW, the pic right there, it speaks well enough, rite? that’s us on our graduation day.

My younger brothers and sisters are not anymore the small fries i used to play with and poked like they were some kind of creatures who have hijacked my parents’ love for me. (i used to hate the fact that i am the eldest coz i was always the one who should acknowledge defeat(s))..haha. I could see that they’ve been missing me too, like, a lot! hahaha. They begged for me to stay a little longer for raya, sorilah adik2 ku sayang..tidaklah dapat kak iman bercuti berlebih-lebihan…

My big little brother, has turned out bigger. Bigger heart and thoughts as well, haha. And he always had the issues on him, and me getting the perfect one to get in with. And how pity it is for me to end up like ‘this’. wahaha. bad bro you are. Could you please cut those out huh, and pray for me instead?? thank you, that’s better.

My little doctor sist also flew home from indon, just to see me wear the kebaya she bought for me for RM30 which equals to 75000 rupiah (when she actually came back because she couldnt stand being left alone and foreign when everyone’s celebrating..hehe). She’s quite a millionaire there i get to order just anything i mind. But I didnt wear the kebaya anyway. Coz it turned out like she thought i might have turned into twice or thrice her size after the long time and distance she bought me an XXL-sized. Waduh2…dont get dissapointed la sist, it’s just that the chance for you to get to see me in tht orange kebaya is not as fat. haha.

My parents, they’ve turned out to be more amicable lately. Discussions are not anymore as hard. But when it comes to "that" discussion, seems like i still couldnt get the guts to utter my things over theirs. haha. Bottom line is,, i know how much they do love me, they want me to get in with a good bloke instead of the flakes i keep on seeing…but i just hope that i could get some air…out of "that". ehehe.

My best friends, never have stopped wishing me for the best i want them to know too, the more they pray for me, the more i’d pray for them too…hey…soon you will understand, there’s nothing under the sun anymore that you could get for F.O.C. hehe…everyone is expecting something in return no matter how little and decent the ’sacrifices’ might’ve looked like. well that’s not my point. my point is, i do pray for my bestfriends’ best as much as they do for me…ehehe. I have always believed that i am what my friends are…i mean, they were/are part and parcel of the mould i was/am in before i even come to be as ‘gorgeous’ as this. :p thank you my gorgeous wonderful friends.

My housemates, they were all so ‘Selamat Hari Raya’ they left me so oversoon as they get their raya holidays approved, but got back not as early to have another important occasion, Kak Dilah’s wedding. Sorry kak, I have gotta work and couldnt manage to get as much holidays as all of you are enjoying…unpaid leaves ni…hehe..They brought me lotsa ‘Selamat Hari Raya’ treats too…wow…Selamat Hari Raya…and maaf zahir batin guys. You are all so sweet..Ermm..Just stop looking at me like i am so inspirational or something, ocay? I am so ordinary i am working with my first better job, i could speak english and manglish too, and i am that beautiful you would get bored to even look at my shadows if you get to see me so frequent..wahaha…eh jgn ar sampai camtu lak..

My favourite boss, she thought i am always doing superficial. I admit i am. But never in overrating the power of feelings and warmth. ahaha. So easy puan, you give us love, and we’d love you back more (stupid thing for a junior staff to say eh). eheheh..Superficiality is sometimes useful when the days get rainy and murky…learn from me, people..ahaha..

My boss is actually not what you think. She’s more, as i get to know her by days. She is so much inspirational i cant just simply utter…Ah-hah.. i know many of us like to boast and broach about how perfect and blissful their job lives have been, more or less for the sake of getting "the impressions" (dont mind me). I could have done the same but i have always chosen to share my ‘misery’ rather than the other ‘mystery’ (if you people notice) hehe…

Well there’s a saying (which sounded like a fact to me) which goes like, normal human beings tend to share their wretchedness rather than their happiness because human beings are selfish. And they tend to share it poetically (more like underground) because it is not as effortless as when you’re sharing your happiness (cut short). ahaha. got wht i am saying? So i am normal. Actually people, the thing called happiness, you could always see me wearing one if you could see me at the time i m wearing it (it has long been my uniform..unless otherwise situationally twisted..hehe). Honestly. Get me?

They said i am always about sadness and glooms, about love and unreplied love…about pains and longing…nothing about anything on the ball or contributing to some sounder knowledge… nothing helping…Well i m not just that! or maybe i m just not that…ahaha..because in the end.. regardless of whom i am surrounded with…i only get to realize that, I am the one responsible for my happiness (and for my knowledge too). And when i realize that, i get to love myself and be selfish again. I m selfish again because that is my responsibility…

Striving on a simple responsibility should never be underestimated…

p/s: Shhh.. i m the one who’s gonna have problems too if so many people are behaving so selfish anyway….ehehehe…well, have my apologies from the bottom of my heart along with this raya season. Well i hope we could all be even again, do cease to feel any hatred or annoyance or boredom or anything against me, please renounce any anger or resentment you’ve ever had against me… please give up all claims on account of any debt or obligation you should have been expecting from me..haha, please grant your pardons to me. Thank you…

I.A.A. on a ’spacious’ holiday.

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